Face it, you saw someone’s face when you read the title of this post. THAT negative friend, uncle or coworker. They can suck the energy out of the room, ruin your day and sulk like their life depends on it. Pessimistic outlooks are 100% voluntary. When I see people that are negative all the time I secretly want to shake them and scream ‘grow up’! My heart is starting to race just thinking about it!
Why is my heart racing?
Because I used to be one of those nasty, weak people.
I would laugh out loud at George Castanza on Seinfeld and think ‘He get’s me!’. Why did I relate to a neurotic, middle-aged bald man? I DON’T KNOW. But in some way I saw myself in his same life position for many years. No chance of getting ahead. The world was against me. All of my (few) friends and family were just the worst.
It’s so sad that I actually thought those pissy outlooks were true. But I honestly felt that hopeless most days. I sat back and observed the world buzzing around me (engagements, masters degrees, business start ups) while I did absolutely nothing except complain that I had zero prospects in my life. I was addicted to scrolling through my Facebook feed and judging other people’s life choices.
I was waiting for my happy life to magically appear while working at dead end jobs, refusing to meet new people and hiding in my apartment watching the same sad television shows on DVD. This was pre-Netflix streaming by the way, now it wouldn’t be quite as sad because there are so many shows to watch (ha!). On a related note I can pretty much quote every Chappelle Show skit.
I let a negative outlook become a cornerstone of my personality. This is the most unattractive and limiting thing I’ve ever done to myself.
Even worse than the asymmetrical haircut I tried a few years ago (so not the look a curly girl needs to go for).
I wanted to write on this particular topic because I’ve been witnessing this kind of Debbie Downer vibe take over in a some friends and acquaintances. Every time I talk to these people they’ve got a list of complaints as long as the Texas summers are hot. They’re not bad people but they make it hard to talk and spend time with them because of their poor attitude. Misery loves company and I’m not in any place to commiserate – I’ve built my life up so I can rise above pointless griping and mean spirited gossip.
Everyone has bad days.
Bad weeks. Bad months (maybe that’s a bit much). But each and every individual has the choice to wake up and say ‘Hello there’ or ‘Ugh, it’s you again’ to the day. I’m Miss Giddy for crying out loud and I have bad days. But no matter if I didn’t get enough sleep or am cramping or REALLY screwed something up I know that dwelling on the less than favorable situation is not healthy for my mental or physical being.
We’re not in control of every little aspect of our lives, but we can choose how we react to tough situations. We also have the freedom to behave authentically in the face of any level of adversity. Oh, and stress. Yea that ugly little (big) thing. Some people naturally handle stress better than others. But these are all things that we have the ability to improve upon.
It won’t be easy at first to choose positivity, but if the end result is a more positive outlook which will decrease your stress levels and increase your enjoyment in life…I know what option I would choose!
Get down to business and work to improve your outlook, increase self esteem and take hold of reactionary tendencies. That’s where true personal development is born.
Our thoughts are powerful. If your internal voice is a pessimistic instigator it needs a makeover, a u-turn or a swift kick in the pants. You don’t have to listen to the mafia mind-the little whisper that wills you to limit your potential and keep you from sharing your talents with the world.
That’s what being negative does to you. It holds you back from living your most fabulous, full life. You think being pessimistic is just a little quirk of yours BUT IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
Do you feel like your pessimistic outlook is ruining your life and are interested in moving forward? A life coach can help you with that ya know!
Did someone say life coach?! What a coincidence!
Enter the 3 Month Confidence & Life Coaching Giveaway, what have you got to lose? Oh yea, your negative attitude! Hehe. Let’s do this thang.
Do you have negative people in your life? They’re still worthy of love, attention and respect. Maybe on a limited basis. Ha, just kidding. Kind of. Start a conversation and be honest about how their attitude affects you. Some people are oblivious to their actions, but if you are open hopefully the sentiment will be returned.
If you’re more of a loner DIY type and want to do the personal development work solo I hear you! I’ll be following up this post with a few ‘how-to’ posts on how to deal with the pessimism in ourselves, our circles and in society.