I have been quarantined at home for the last couple days with a viral infection. Working in the fitness trade I’m surrounded by germs on the daily but this time I caught something bad, and boy have I paid for it. Not only in wages lost but also my lack of sanity!
Back when I was far more introverted I could go days at a time without talking to other humans. I can even recall whole days of my freshman year of college being surrounded by other people my age on campus and not speaking to another soul. Even though I had ample opportunity to make connections I was too frightened to try. What if they didn’t like me OR there was an awkward pause OR what if they thought I was weird? I didn’t have the guts to take the chance. So I did nothing. Talk about lame.
Of course I regret this fear based behavior, but I have released it and chalked it up to naivety. I now realize college is such a wonderful time for discovery. Unfortunately I spent most of my years at university playing the shy, scared introvert who was far more comfortable observing others than truly living myself. But the truth is I just wasn’t ready to build or exude confidence back then. I wanted to be comfortable in my own skin more than anything else but I had no idea how to seek help and foster positive change.
Now, ten years later, I’ve been quarantined in my home for going on three days. Not physically speaking to really anyone except for a few instances. On Day 1 I was hosting a TuesdaysTogether meeting and against my better judgement made an appearance to introduce our meetup leaders. I felt so weak going home I knew it was a mistake but I did speak to people. On Day 2 I went to the doctor and was of course forced to speak on my less than stellar well-being’s behalf. Other than that, no physical speech other than to Mr. Giddy. But that was more like whispering anyway!
This lack of human contact now feels bizarre. What was totally normal for me as a introverted college student is completely wrong as a far more mature ambivert. Am I now one of those normal people who relies on social contact to feel alive?! If so -what a turn around!
Now, of course this isn’t totally true. My introvert tendencies still show their true colors as I highly value my solo recharge time but I couldn’t help but make the comparison. I think this could be a whole new way to gauge peoples’ introvert versus extravert qualities – the sick day test!
Do you ever have days (sick or not) where you don’t talk to other humans? How do you deal? Best. Day. Ever. or Tales from the Crypt?
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